Moppy Dearest/Transcript
opens up with the school in view Hank: voiceover So, to recap: this point, Hank is shown Last night at dinner I ordered the...anyone? Anyone? one responds The chicken-fried steak. no response, someone coughs One final announcement: The annual school dance is coming up! This year's theme is: "Daylight Savings Time". And as always, attendance is mandatory. but F&C groan annoyingly and knock their desks over. F&C come forward Fanboy: Oh, the school dance! I can't believe it's finally here! surrounded by hearts Chum Chum: Now, we can finally show off our new moves to the whole school! the lights go out. Spotlight on F&C, who show off their moves (Song: Dance Break) Fanboy: We start with the flamingo. Fanboy and Chum Chum: Ca-ca-ca-ca-ca!/Ooh, ooh, ooh! Chum Chum: Then we'll hit 'em with the wrangler. Ooh dee dee de dee dee dee de de, de de de de de de dee! Fanboy: You gotta butter that bread! Come on, now. But-but-but-b-but-b-but-butter that breaaaaad. Chum Chum: Uh-oh. Here comes the funky cheese grater! Fanboy/Chum Chum: Uh-huh! Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh! Fanboy: Now for the big finish, Chum. The double dutch sassafras with a leachman kick-turn belly flop! In five, six, seven, eight, and... stare at F&C quite amazed and shocked at once Hank: Will you boys stop doing that every time I mention the school dance?! Fanboy and Chum Chum: Pshh./Hmph. up capes and leave Hank: one of Man-Arctica's records This year's musical entertainment will be provided by: Man-Arctica, who will be performing power ballads off his new album, Glacially Slow Jamz. Chum Chum: Man-Arctica?! Fanboy: Playing the dance? Chum Chum Double time, Chum Chum! goes out, spotlight on F&C Fanboy: Flamingo! Wrangler! Then but-but-but-but-butter the bread! Fanlair, later that night. F&C are modeling in their formal clothes Chum Chum: Wow, Fanboy. You're one sharp-dressed man. Fanboy: Ditto, Chum Chum! You look totally righteous! Uh, anything left to do on the list before we book it? Chum Chum: out a notebook Um...two things: Complement each other on our fabulous outfits, check. And...find dates to go with us to the dance. the second rule, dance music distorts Fanboy: Dates?!? to floor, eye goes twitchy''Find dates?! But the dance is in five days! That's hardly enough time! Unless... ''goes off camera and works on something. Chum Chum stares. Fanboy returns rolling something under a curtain Fanboy: Chum Chum, meet my new date for the dance. unveils a mop in a janitor's bucket. Chum Chum's jaw drops Pan upwards the mop Fanboy: Moppy! of the mop's google eyes droops Chum Chum: She cleans up nice. Fanboy: But wait! Who are you gonna bring? Chum Chum: I guess I'll just call my cousin. She's from out of town. out cell phone and dials Fanboy: Oh, right, your cousin. Moppy The old "out-of-town cousin" excuse. Poor kid's getting desperate. of Moppy's eyes falls off switches to outside, five days later, the night of the dance Fanboy: voiceover You ready with the camera, Chum? Chum Chum: voiceover Ready! this point, F&C are shown. Fanboy is holding a rope and Chum Chum has a camera Fanboy: Here she comes! [A romance jingle is heard as Fanboy pulls on the rope and Moppy rolls to the top of the staircase. '' '''Chum Chum:' Wow. She's a vision. Fanboy: fluttering She's like a pine-scented angel. dissolves to Fanboy's daydream of Moppy swaying and dancing on a heart background Fanboy: voiceover Ooh, she's wearing my favorite perfume: Eau de Toilette. back to Fanboy. He pulls down on Moppy's rope and helps her down the stairs. She lands tipped over while Chum Chum takes a picture Fanboy: Ooh! Chum Chum: throat Fanboy, isn't there something you'd like to give to Moppy? Fanboy: giggles Oh, right. May I? to nail a flower corsage on Moppy's stick, but it wouldn't hold, grabs a mallet and violently nails the corsage in place Got a little tired. stick breaks Whoop! Chum Chum: gasp Time for pictures! see four pictures of Fanboy and Moppy: First, Fanboy is sitting in Moppy's bucket and waving. Second, he's doing a little split pose while looking at Moppy. Third, he's drinking some toilet water from Moppy's bucket. Last, he's holding tightly to Moppy and smiling switches to the school. Fanboy is walking down the hall, everyone looks over to see him and Moppy Fanboy: Chuggster! Chris Chuggy: Wah? Fanboy: Lookin' good! Michael Johnson, I'm diggin' those sunglasses at night. Francine: gets hit by Moppy's hair Ow! Janitor Poopatine, scanning Nancy so she can enter Fanboy: Hi, Janitor Poopatine. Chum Chum: Poop! Russ: It's Chaperone Poopatine. Moppy Oh! My stars. Who is this absorbent beauty? Fanboy: This is Moppy. Isn't she great? Funny story, really. We met in the Fanlair. I was looking for a date to the dance. She was standing in the corner-- well, half in the corner, half under the sink-- but, long story short, I was persistent, and here we are. Russ: Fanboy Yes. Well, uh, enjoy the dance. Chum comes up Fanboy: Come on, Chum Chum! We don't want to miss Man-Arctica's sound check! Chum Chum: Actually, I'm gonna wait out here for my cousin. at the dark hallway She tends to be fashionably late. Fanboy: Oh, can't wait to meet her. After you, M'lady. and Moppy walk in the cafeteria looks over, but Brenda's scanner hits him Russ: Ow! Oh, stop it, Brenda. I was just admiring her corsage. the cafeteria, set up for the dance. The lights are blue, there are ribbons, stars and balloons everywhere. Confetti is on the floor. A disco ball is hanging from the celing. The stage has ice accents. Children are all over the place, laughing and talking together Fanboy: Wow! They really went all out for Man-Arctica! I mean, check out the stage! It looks just like his Igloo of Ice-olation! Hey, Chum Chum! a strange figure gobbling trash in the shadows/ Fanboy runs up to it. The figure turns around and reveals itself Fanboy: Ew. You're not Chum Chum. Who are you? the last sentence, we reveal the figure. This is Muk Muk, Chum Chum's wacky cousin. She acts like a monkey Muk Muk: Muk-muk. music plays as Fanboy stares in awe, hat off. A heart pops out of his head flap and pops into smaller hearts Fanboy puts his hat back on Muk Muk spits, the music stops. Fanboy: The voice of an angel. Chum Chum: Hey, Fanboy. Oh, great! you found my cousin! Muk Muk: Muk-muk. onto Chum Chum's hat Fanboy: Your cousin? You mean -- you really did have one? Chum Chum: I told you, silly. Fanboy, I'd like you to meet Muk Muk. Muk Muk: Muk-muk! Fanboy: Uh, hi, I'm Boyfan. giggles, does face palm I mean, I'm Fanboy. Did I just say I'm Boyfan? I'm Fanboy! Who would be named Boyfan? I mean, can you imagine such a thing? giggles Oh-ho, why am I laughing so much? I love life, what can I say? Heh, out arm with eyes closed Fanboy. Muk Muk: snot on Fanboy's hand Fanboy: I'll never wash this hand again... Muk proceeds to infiltrate the other guests Cher: AAAHHH!!! Ooh, ooh, ooh! Get it off, get it off, get it off... Fanboy: Chum chum, why didn't you tell me your cousin was so...bewitching? Chum Chum: Oh, I don't get to see her very often. She's from two towns over. Fanboy: Waynesport? Chum Chum: No, Apetown. Well, West Apetown. Fanboy: Whoa. So she's got money and''charm. ''Muk babbles and hops past, Fanboy stares at her with a dreamy expression. Moppy rolls by Fanboy: Oh, heh. Moppy. Um, great dance, isn't it? Oh, look. Your bucket's looking a little low. So shall I get us all drinks? Chum Chum: Punch for me! Fanboy: Punch for Chum Chum and for my main squeeze mop, soapy water with a twist of lemon scent. I'm on it. backward is about to scoop up some punch when Muk Muk lands in the punch bowl Fanboy: Whoa! Muk Muk: Muk-muk! Fanboy: Oh, Muk Muk. Sweet dance, huh? Muk farts in the punch bowl Fanboy: bow tie Oh, this? I just threw it together at the last minute. Muk Muk: snorting Fanboy: What's that, Muk Muk? You want me to...come closer? closer to Muk Muk, who stuffs his face with oranges OY! Muk runs out into the hall Kyle: Wha - ? Fanboy: Muk Muk, where are you going?! the hallway... Fanboy: Muk Muk? Where are you, you my enchanting little monkey? Muk peeks out from a locker, then hides again. She then plows onto Fanboy Muk Muk: Muk-muk! Fanboy: WHOA! Muk Muk! I don't think we should be doing this. I came with Moppy! Muk knocks Fanboy's hat off. Chum Chum arrives with Moppy Chum Chum: I'm sure Fanboy just went to use the bathroom, 'cause he won't go once Man-Arctica comes on! pause I mean, he won't leave to go. gasps Fanboy! leans behind him Fanboy: gasp Oh, Moppy! No! it's not what you think! music plays, impossibly, Moppy sheds a tear. Lupe arrives Lupe: Come with me, Moppy. Don't let him seige your pride. And'' s''top looking at him. Fanboy: Moppy! Don't go! Chum Chum: I'm so sorry, Fanboy, I should've kept an eye on Muk Muk. Fanboy: It's my fault. I had the best date in school, but I took her for granted. Now she's gone forever! off I have to go. I have something in my eye! Chum Chum: But, Fanboy, Man-Arctica's coming on any minute! pause I'll save you a good spot! leaves rock music begins to play. Outside the back of the school. Fanboy opens the door and begins stomping around, sniffing and wimpering sadly. We see the daydream of Moppy from before, only the background has a dark shadow in the corners, leaves rush past and we see some pictures from earlier Russ: Hey! distorts, cut to Fanboy on a bench Fanboy: Huh? Russ: What's the matter with you? Fanboy: Well, if you must know, I lost my mop. And I don't know if I can get her back! Russ: No! I meant I just painted that bench! Can't you read the sign?!? to a wet paint sign on the bench Fanboy: You're right! I should fight for her! But what if she doesn't take me back? Russ: OHH...GET OFF THAT BENCH RIGHT NOW! Fanboy: I'll never know unless I try. I'll do it! Russ's hand and runs back inside Thanks, Janitor Poopatine! You're the best! at the dance... Michael/Kyle/Nancy/Cher: chattering Lupe: Aw. You're so pretty. You don't need no stinkin' Fanboy. lights change. The excited party guests head over to the stage. Hank is at the DJ stand Hank: a record Uh...ooh...hey, is this on? record''Attention, school...ARE YOU READY TO ROCK?!? ''waves their hands high and cheer Hank: Then, throw your hands in the air like you just don't care about...MAN-ARCTICA!!! the last word, pan over to Man-Arctica in the spotlight with a key-tar. The crowd cheers as he walks over to the front of the stage Man-Arctica: Good evening -- Fanboy: WAIT! onstage, cheering stops Has anyone seen Moppy? Moppy? this moment, the crowd begins to jeer Chum Chum: GET OFF THE STAGE! Fanboy: the jeering Oh, Moppy, I'm sorry. I...I... Moppy in the spotlight and smiles I think this next power ballad can express my feelings better than words ever could. whispers into Man-Arctica's ear. Man-Arctica looks at Hank, who gives a rocking motion as the crowd begins to cheer again. Hank and Man-Arctica begin playing gentle rock music as a spotlight goes on Fanboy. Man-Arctica rocks out on his key-tar as Fanboy begins to sing (Song: Moppy's Song) Fanboy: Moppy I see your bucket in the distance Lupe: You are so lucky. Fanboy: I'll take you by the handle And love'll sweep us away is heard Cher: EW! stops Cher: Chum Chum's cousin just barfed on the dance floor!! Everyone: EW!/Barf!/My shoes! but Fanboy, Man-Arctica and Hank back away walks up to Moppy Fanboy: What do you say, Moppy? Take a chance on this dreamer for old times' sake? gives Fanboy a hug. The music starts up again as Fanboy uses Moppy to clean up the barf, then they both slow dance for several seconds. Meanwhile, for Chum Chum... Chum Chum: singsong Look what I got. A nice piece of fruit! I gotcha. I gotcha. normal No, wait. Oh, come on! Muk Muk: Muk-muk! out, the episode is over. Category:Transcripts